Description:
Austin Patrick talks about his life.
Transcript:
Interviewee: Austin Patrick
Interviewer: Melba Holt
Interview Date: October 26, 2007
Interview Location: Downtown Library
MH: Good afternoon and thank you.
AP: Good afternoon to you.
MH: Thank you for coming to Oklahoma Voices to interview with us for our centennial project. It was quite a pleasure to have an opportunity to meet you recently at your mother's funeral, and we thank you for consenting to interview with us. Tell us your name.
AP: My name is Austin Patrick, the son of Maxine Stelle.
MH: And where are we?
AP: We're at the library, downtown Oklahoma City.
MH: Where were you born?
AP: I was born in Okmulgee, Oklahoma.
MH: Where did you grow up?
AP: I basically growed up in Okmulgee until I was like seventeen.
MH: And then what happened?
AP: I got tired of all the... No. Seriously I came out of high school, and came to Oklahoma City, where my mother was.
MH: And who were your... Who was your father?
AP: Well, my father was... What my father was my grandfather. That's what I knew him. Yeah, so...
MH: And you want to say your grandfather's name.
AP: John Thomas Patrick.
MH: And, what was he like? And what was your mother like?
AP: Well, like I say, I spent most of my younger years with my grandparents. And they believed... Well, my grandfather believed... he got up at five o'clock every morning it didn't make no difference what happened. What day... Sunday morning, it didn't make no difference. So, when he get up, everybody's supposed to be up. That's the way it was and that's... that's the way he was and that's the way it was. So we got up early. Worked hard. That was it.
MH: Were you in Okmulgee?
AP: Yes.
MH: What were you doing? Were you on a farm, or...
AP: Well, we were on a farm, about five miles out from Okmulgee. Five miles north of Okmulgee.
MH: What kind of farming did you do?
AP: Well you name it. We had cotton, peanuts, wheat, you name it. We had all kinds of animals. Chickens, hogs, cows. So, you know. That type of farm working. You'd plow. He had a tractor. So, you know. We'd work in the field.
MH: That's the interesting thing. I know the families grew their own food. Many of the families... I've interviewed several families from... who were raised on a farm. And some of them had different products. And that's why I wanted to make sure that you were able to talk about the kind of farming that you all did.
AP: Oh, well, we didn't have no certain thing that we grew. We just grew...
MH: You had several things.
AP: Yes.
MH: It wasn't just food. You all also grew cotton.
AP: Yeah. Cotton, corn. Like I say, it was several things that we grew.
MH: You grew up with your grandparents. You named your grandfather. Do you want to name your grandmother?
AP: Yes, my grandmother was Ora Lee Patrick.
MH: To preserve your family history. Can you go back any further in your family tree? To name anybody. Great-grandparents. Do you recall any of their names?
AP: No I don't. I can only go back to my grandparents.
MH: Okay. Would you describe yourself as a happy child?
AP: You mean, coming up then or not?
MH: Coming up then.
AP: Oh, yeah, I was happy.
MH: Well, you want to talk about whether or not you had a nickname?
AP: No, I had too many cousins. They forgot... They ran out of nicknames when they got to me.
MH: Did you have brothers and sisters?
AP: Well, I have... Yeah, I have one sister who were there, and later on another sister came in my life when I came to Oklahoma City. It was La Velma and Sydney. And I'd like to tell you right now: came to Oklahoma City, where my mother was, who she was married to Mr. Stelle, and to me, it was just like a father. I mean that's the way it... That's the way it was. That's when... a young age La Velma and Sydney are what came into... Well I came into their new life...
MH: Yeah, you came up here.
AP: But, yeah. So, you know it was... and it was just me and my sister, La Velma and Sydney. And now, she's my sister. I don't tell nobody she's a step or anything like... She don't say I'm no step brother, see. We sister and brother. That's the way it is.
MH: Yeah, that's what you all told me at the funeral. And, you know, that is... People have to make a decision to do that and that's really good. You mentioned... Let's name your other sister that you had.
AP: My Josetta.
MH: Yeah, because she's the one that I talked to that I didn't get to interview. If it weren't for Josetta's daughter I would not have known you were there. But providence had us guide us only way that I met Josetta's daughter...
AP: (unintelligible)
MH: Uh huh. At your mother's funeral. And she told me that you had come to help take care of Mrs. Stelle when she got sick. Do you want to talk about that?
AP: Well...
MH: That you had been somewhere else and you came here.
AP: I had been living in Seattle, Washington. I had been up there for, you know, twenty-some years and really wasn't ready to come back to Oklahoma, but I'd also made a promise to her that she would never have to worry about going into a rest home, because I don't mind. Really don't think they take care of people like they should in the rest home. That's the way I feel about that. So, it was kind of tough but I made that decision to, you know, semi-retire. And I sold my house and just came back to Oklahoma to help take care of my mother. So that's... That's kind of the way it was. That's the way I wound up back in Oklahoma City.
MH: Well, I was just so moved that I had a chance to meet you and had a chance to find a man in today's society that respected and wanted to make that contribution to the family. And so when your niece told me that, that's when I came out and asked to take the photograph of you all, and had a chance to meet you. And I was so thrilled to know that you weren't going to be leaving. I hate that I didn't get to interview your sister and her niece, but I couldn't get it coordinated in time for the interviews. But I can remember you leading the family in, for the funeral. One of the people who lead the whole family in. And then you had a tremendously large family. You want to talk about what that was like?
AP: Well, my family... You know, my mother had, I think, like ten sisters, so... and I have lots and lots of cousins so we do have a large family. But, you know, it's at some point... it wasn't a great day for me, I'll be honest with you. That wasn't a great day.
MH: I understood that.
AP: But, you know, I felt like, you know, since I was the son, and the only son, that... So, you know, it just kind of happened that way. I had nothing that I planned, you know.
MH: Oh, I... there are plenty of only sons that don't come home and take care of their mother, or to help take care, or lead a family into a situation like that and just be there. Sometimes just being there is all you can do.
AP: Yeah, that's true.
MH: And that's tremendous, though. That's a tremendous... That's a tremendous gift and sacrifice. Because you were in another state.
AP: True. But you know I also... I had a lot of help from my sister La Velma. I really did. I don't care, I could call her. I didn't make no difference what time of... whether it was twelve o'clock at night of whatever. The only thing she ever said is, "I'll be right there." You know, and, sometime after, you know, when my mother started getting a little weak and sicker, you know, she'd fall down and her sugar would get low and she'd go into like comas like in... I hadn't been here, so, you know, La Velma was actually more for me with the... than I was. So...
MH: With her condition, so she had to teach you.
AP: With her condition, so I would just call her. You know, and, like I said, it was never, "I don't have time," or "I got something else to do." The only thing she'd say is, "I'll be right there." And, just like it was the night that she passed, she said... I called her up, she says, "I'll be right there." So it wasn't like I was doing all of it because I wasn't.
MH: I wasn't sure of how that translated. And it helps for you, for your family to understand how that translated. How you and La Velma worked hand-in-hand to see that your mother was cared for at the end of her life, and to keep her from out of a nursing home, because you made that decision.
AP: Right.
MH: Were you going to say something?
AP: Well, what I was going to say is: even the last day, or really that morning, I called La Velma. She had went in... she had a injury accident in which her sugar got low. I called La Velma early that morning she came over. Then we also took my mother that same day she had a doctor's appointment at a foot doctor in Tulsa. We went over to Tulsa. Seen the doctor. Then one of her sisters met over there. She laughed and talked with her. And when we got back in Oklahoma City she said she was tired and I think La Velma helped her put on a gown or something and she went to bed. And you know, later on that night she wasn't feeling good, so I called La Velma, I don't know, probably getting close to twelve o'clock so, you know, she came over. But it just wasn't me taking care of her. I also had... before I got here I also had a cousin who was helping take care of her - Travis Patrick.
MH: Very good. So, your cousin Travis helped you and La Velma take care of Mrs. Stelle. You know, in terms of the health, that you were trying to keep her in the home. Is there anybody else that you want to name that assisted you all in her care that... while we're in this interview, so that the family can understand how important it is to band together at a time like that, and help take care of somebody. I especially want you to talk a little bit about their concerns that Marilyn Hildreth, Clara Luper's daughter had. A lot of people didn't know how close Mrs. Stelle was as a personal friend to Clara Luper, until the funeral. And so, how disappointed Mrs. Luper was that she couldn't get up out of her hospital bed and come to your mother's funeral. So I think it's important for you if there's anybody else you want to name that you can in your interview, and talk a little bit about the comments that Marilyn made at her funeral.
AP: Well I think, you know, so far as other people, you know, giving me encouragement words and things like that, you know, there was a lot of people. Especially, you know, from St. John, you know, "You do a good job." A lot of encouragement words from other people, but, you know, physicallu I think there was more myself and La Velma and probably my cousin Travis, who was the one who was right there, you know...
MH: Day in and day out.
AP: Day in and day out. Helping her to get up off the floor when she fell down. Making sure she get doctor's appointments because she stopped driving, so she couldn't... you know, she had to get to doctors. And there would seem like sometime three times a week, and when I wasn't taking her, La Velma was taking her, so... And, so far as Marilyn, you know, I was gone for a number of years, but my mother was... she did a lot of work with Miss Luper and she was definitely involved with Miss Luper in the... so...
MH: She was.
AP: She was.
MH: She was. She was respected and loved and had made a tremendous contribution to the work that she was doing.
AP: I know she was surely involved with the, like, Oklahoma Pageant.
MH: I think that was something that surprised me about the comments that Marilyn was really was stressing, her involvement with that Pageant for Miss Black Oklahoma. And that is one of Mrs. Luper's primary projects.
AP: Right. Yeah, you're right.
MH: So I was totally unaware of the role and the dependence that they had on Mrs. Stelle to help them with that project.
AP: And also I... well, I know La Velma didn't mention it, but they always came...
MH: That's why you're here.
AP: They always came. The contestants always came to Stelle's restaurant, and they fixed dinner for them. I wasn't here but I know about it.
MH: Right. You're still witnessing it. Is there anything else significant about that relationship that you would like to make sure we talk about in his interview with Mrs. Luper?
La Velma : [unintelligible]
MH: They were tight friends.
La Velma: Mrs. Stelle was sick. She was sick. Mrs. Luper got sick. Mrs. Stelle, "I've got to go and see about Mrs. Luper." She couldn't even take care of herself, but she wanted to go see about Mrs. Luper. She'd ask us, "Would you take me over to Mrs. Luper's," so, you know, she wanted to go see about Mrs. Luper.
MH: I wanted La Velma to come into this interview and make these statements about Mrs. Luper, so that she could be on the mic making these statements in Mr. Patrick's interview because Marilyn was so upset because Mrs. Luper couldn't leave her hospital bed and we didn't cover this in La Velma's. It was one of the hardest parts for me because I couldn't interview Mrs. Stelle. And then Marilyn was upset and all upset and I couldn't interview Mrs. Luper because she was too sick too.
La Velma: Right.
MH: And so I want you to tell in this interview...
La Velma: They were very, very, very close.
MH: You have to make this interview clear to the families of both of those leaders how close they were as friends so you go ahead, La Velma.
La Velma: They were very, very, very close. They... Mrs. Luper was always at the youth center, and Mrs. Stelle was right there. I mean, she didn't feel like going or doing anything for herself, but she was right there with Mrs. Luper
MH: And that's what Marilyn said.
La Velma: Yes. She does.
MH: For many years.
La Velma: Yeah. Because a lot of times, I'd have to say, you know, "You need to stay at home. You don't need to go today," you know. I wasn't saying anything, though. We just quit saying anything like that, because she was going to be involved. She was going to be. She wouldn't feel like.. She always, "Well, we're going to serve something tonight so I've got to fix this and I've got to fix that." You know, she... We were...she wasn't fixing things for ourself...
MH: That's right.
La Velma: But she would go up there and fix things. Could hardly walk, you know, but...
MH: Well that was critical, because that was so... Marilyn had such a difficult time at her funeral, because her mother was so upset because she could not be at the funeral. I don't want to finish this...
La Velma: Right. Right. It would have been the same way, Mrs. Stelle, had it been vice versa. She would have been the same way. She may not have been able to make it herself but she would have been sure trying to.
MH: I understand that.
La Velma: They were that close.
MH: I understand that. And only you could tell, along with her son, firsthand, what Marilyn told us at the funeral, as a congregation.
La Velma: I can't remember all that. I remember her saying about the... I was mostly crying.
MH: I know. I understand.
La Velma: And I've been intending to ask her for a copy of that, but, I... But it was just so touching about the whole thing and it was just...
MH: Well I... It was emblazed... some of the statements she made were just emblazed in my mind and I did take notes. So when... if she doesn't have a copy, I will give you notes from my funeral program.
La Velma: I sure would appreciate it.
MH: And I will also give you the pictures.
La Velma: Oh!
MH: You remember, I also took the pictures.
La Velma: I really would appreciate that.
MH: And so, that will be my gift to you when I can get them prepared for the family.
La Velma: Oh bless you. Bless you. Thank you. I really would appreciate that. Because I didn't.
MH: Well you were... you were not in any shape to do that, you and Mr. Patrick. But I was so touched by...
La Velma: [unintelligible]
MH: I was so touched by the African heritage that was shown in the way that funeral was conducted. And I just knew that Mrs. Stelle was smiling from up in Heaven and she was proud of her children.
LA Velma: She was.
MH: It was beautiful.
LA Velma: Thank you.
MH: Mr. Patrick, are you married?
AP: No, I've been married. Nobody wants me, I'm single, so...
MH: We won't go that far. You're a pretty good-looking man. Do you have any children?
AP: Yes and no. I had a step-daughter who was like my child, who happened to be the wife of Pastor Lee Cooper. She passed away I think, oh, almost ten years ago.
La Velma: [unintelligible]
MH: She was your child.
La Velma: She sure was.
MH: What was her name? Let's talk about her.
AP: Sheila Cooper.
MH: Well that explains why Reverend Lee Cooper was there at the head table there to support you with his love. And she was your child.
La Velma: She sure was. That's what she called him, Daddy.
AP: Well you're right about that, but, you know... Speaking of Mr. Cooper, you know. For some reason or another, it seemed like he also had, you know... He had a sister that was lost, and I... Twice, I think, we have cried on the phone together. The first time was Sheila then the second time was his sister, so...
MH: Gayona.
AP: Gayona, yeah. So, we... I mean, we are close. It's just, you know...
MH: Well that was very hard for me. Gayona was our sorority leader, regional level. So you all consoled each other. You mentioned that your mother had all these sisters and brothers - you want to name them in your interview?
AP: Oh I... name them, right? I don't even know if I could name them. Oh, I probably could name them.
MH: Well you know how ornery you can be.
AP: Patricia... I'm not... It's not about being angry, but being, you know...
MH: Just name to ones you can think of. That's a lot of people.
AP: No, it's not that many. Patricia, who is the oldest one, then my mother, and the next one was Bertha, and then Clarisse who is also deceased, and then there were John, the brother, and Velma. And there was Irene, and there is Von, Wilma, Viola, Geneva.
MH: You did good. You did excellent. Do you have any wisdom... I like the conversation I had with your sister, Josetta, when I was interviewing her because, as a therapist one of the most difficult problems that therapists have is in the blending of families. Your sister told me that you all didn't use the word 'step,' and you said that as well. So what advice would you give to people to strengthen the family? You all had a huge family who came together for the funeral of your mother, and as a tribute to your mother, and having gone through life as you have all these years, I'd like for you to give us any comment that you have that you think would help to strengthen families.
AP: Well first of all, I can tell you this, you know, I don't know if everybody in my family would have all my family together like that. But Maxine was one of those special people. And it was something about
Maxine that I always said was the key, you know. That's what I always said to the family. And everybody loved Maxine. So it just, you know... Regardless to what they were doing, where they were, I mean, you know, out of state, in state, didn't make no difference, they were going to come. You know my mother had several sisters who was Witnesses... and I have nothing against Witnesses, don't get me wrong, but there's a lot of them don't believe in going into other buildings like Baptist church buildings...
MH: Are they Jehovah's Witnesses?
AP: They're Jehovah's Witnesses, right.
MH: I understand.
AP: Right. But, you know, they all put that aside, came in, just like it was one of they buildings, which, you know. So, I'm saying part of it was Maxine. and it was the way she lived, the way, you know, the way she handled her life. And I think that's why everybody was there because, you know, so far as other families, you know, it's... for me it’s kind of hard to say about other families. I don't know, but I just know about our family, that we have a lot of... Everybody in our family is close. Like I said, La Velma came in. When we have like... whatever we have family wise, La Velma goes. They tell everybody, all my aunts, "This is my niece." That's what they says. I mean, you know, that's just the way it is.
MH: Do you want to share your religious beliefs with us in this interview?
AP: Well, the first church I ever belonged to was St. John. And of course since then I've belonged to Mount Zion Baptist Church in Seattle, Washington. But I definitely believe in Church. I believe in God, so, you know, like La Velma said, coming up, you were going to go to church whether you wanted to or not. I mean, you know...
MH: Yeah, that's why I let you tell us what your beliefs were. You can go to church, but that doesn't mean you believe.
AP: Well, I definitely believe, you know...
MH: That's good.
AP: It wasn't, you know... Actually, when you get on your own, you know, you can make your own decision, but then, when, like at my grandparents. It didn't matter whether you believed it or not, you were going.
MH: That's really good. They got you to church. So it's up to you to believe or not they were going to get you there. That's good. That's good. We would like for you to share with us any regrets that you have in the life that you've lived that you feel like you've learned a lesson from that might help somebody else. If you have something that you'd like to share for the benefit of your family or for some other young, young men growing up in this country. We don't have a lot of good examples about how a family stays together in our community and that's something that we're trying to strengthen. And you might be able to share some nugget that you might hold dear in this interview before we close it out. And I would like for you to do that.
AP: Well okay I'd like to just say for one thing for sure, you know, and I hear a lot of people say, "Well, he came up without a father." Well, for me, I don't buy that, but then I know fathers play a part. But, you know, when you try to raise your kids right, and try to raise them right, do the best you can with them, that's, you know, that's all you can do. But, for some kids, you know, we get on the wrong track. But, you know, I'd like to say to, you know, young people, "Listen to your parents. Listen to your mother." If that's where, you know, if that's you have the one parent, that's okay - nothing wrong with that. But it's not that you've got to go out and do all these wrong things because your father wasn't
there. I don't buy that story that, "Well I had to go do this because my father wasn't there." One thing about it, you can always have a mother that will be there. And if you don't do anything else, you should be proud of your mother. Do what your mother says. And life will be good for you. I, you know... Well I wasn't really with my mom until I, you know, a teenager, but I had a stepfather who also made sure that, you know, I went in the right direction. And my life has been - my life has been good. I don't know if I could... If I could change one thing in my life, the probably one thing I would do, and I did... I took several classes at CLU since I was in Washington. But one thing I would do for sure is have a degree.
MH: A college degree.
AP: A college degree. That to me, that is important. And the reason I say that is important, I missed out on a job that was a six-figure job. And I had an interview for it. Know I could do the job, but I didn't just have the degree. And they told me, "Do you have any kind? See, if you have any kind." Because I knew the job was there and I could do the job. Actually I had been doing the job, but that would be one of the things that I would change in my life I would have a degree.
MH: I had a similar interview in terms of when the timing of my terminal degree, so I understand that's a very important observation that you're sharing, and how you reached that conclusion. Who would you say has been the biggest influence in your life?
AP: Oh, at an early age would be my grandfather.
MH: Your grandfather.
AP: Yeah, at an early age, you know.
MH: Is there anything that you would like to share in this interview before we close it out? I'd like to give you an opportunity. If there's something that's really important to you to say about this interview, I would like for you to say it. You have not been in Oklahoma City all this time. You've been away, and you're back home. And you've had a chance to look at the way Oklahoma City has changed, and we would like for you to be able to share that with us, and then we'll close you're interview.
AP: Okay well one thing, first of all, I want to take the opportunity to thank you for giving us the opportunity for the interview.
MH: Thank you.
AP: You know, because it's something that you didn't have to do. And that says something about my mother, because that's what we're doing the interview about
MH: That's right.
AP: And I'm just so proud, you know, although she's gone. If she was here, I know what she'd be saying, "Go down there and do that interview." Even if she wouldn't have been able to make it.
MH: She would be proud of you and your sister. And I'm proud that you all let me do this interview to honor your mother and father and your family, because you all had a business, but I wanted to do this interview because I have done business with La Velma. I have done business with her daughter. I have done ministry work with her daughter. And we have traveled and worked and sung probably close to ten years with her daughter. And so you all have made a prominent contribution to Oklahoma City. And I'm just so thankful that we were able to get this interview done. And I hope that you all feel good about it. And I just want to thank you that you can be part of the centennial Oklahoma Voices project permanently on record in the Oklahoma Room here at the Library.
AP: Oh, well thank you so much.